Unloved in Vera

Dear Carmen,

I feel like I can’t get over the way my mother treated me as a child and due to the lack of love I experienced growing up I feel like I just can’t move on because I am stuck constantly thinking about sad memories of my childhood. What do you recommend, shall I just cut ties??

Unloved in Vera

Dear Unloved in Vera,

Some things from our past can stay with us and affect us into our adult lives. I know this is difficult but what I am going to say really is for your best interest; the main person suffering here seems to be you, and you don’t want to be stuck in this pain and allow it to continually affect you. You may need to seek counselling or therapy to heal from this. We cannot change the past, which forces you to decide between moving on (assuming your relationship is now a healthy one) to forgive and forget accept it and move on, enabling you to create new, happier memories. If you feel there is some deep-rooted trauma and your relationship with your mother is toxic then it may still be beneficial to seek help but to also decide to part ways for your own emotional well-being. You deserve love but first and foremost to love yourself then when you’re truly comfortable in this state you may be able to accept it for what it is, not to expect any more, to be realistic. Allow other people in who will show you the love you deserve, good luck.

Remember, if you do feel like you’re struggling you can always seek advice from a professional moving forward.

xoxo Carmen

If you want to write to Carmen yourself as well, please mail to dearcarmen@ultimatealmeria.com.